Oscar Brown Jr - Children of Children

The children of children by the time they’re half grown have habits like rabbits and young of their own

The children of children from their mamas laps hop down to the ground to be taken in traps

The children of children trapped by dark skins to stay in and play in a game no one wins

The children of children while still young and sweet are all damned and programmed for future defeat

The children of children are trapped by adults who fail them then jail them to hide the results

The children of children unable to cope with systems that twist them and rob them of hope

The children of children of sin and ashamed keep pairing and bearing and who do you blame

The children of children cry out every day - they beg you for rescue and what do you say?

May he rest in peace.

When I signed up for the Crazy Cycle with Families Relief I knew it would be an event to remember, and thanks to all of you I was able to raise over £2200 towards the orphanage! Don’t believe that we did it? Check out the full gallery here!

If you have pledged money towards the cause, or are yet to sponsor, the justgiving page will be online for a few more weeks so please do get me to my fifth and final target of £2500! J http://justgiving.com/usayd/

And once again thank you to all of you for your support and encouragement – financial and otherwise!

Haven’t written on here for ages. Why? Because I’ve been training for my 60 mile cycle from London to Oxford! Why? Because I want to do what I can to help orphans in Bangladesh!

Okay, well theoretically that’s true. I think I’ve done my psychological training than physical, but hey, I’m doing the cycle next Sunday so wish me luck! Actually, wait, there was something else I wanted to ask for…Oh yea, please sponsor me too!

Waiting…unsure of what is to come
Hopes for the best prepare to be undone
Plan for worst is the way they say,
Glance at the clock. Will I plan for today?

Mirage
A term well used to describe
The disappointment faced and felt inside.
Water doesn’t exist at the place first sighted
Nowhere to be seen as the fires ignited.

The truth is - there is no end,
Looking for reason to make amend
Then will be seen as the end of time arrives,
The contradiction of a mirage is like the broken sky.

Riddles and mixed messages are what I promote
Like telling you my mind is tied to a rope
Running down that non-existent hill
with hopes to witness the morning chill.

The lines between fantasy and reality are blurred
Fatality appears to be my favourite word
With every action, pain incurs
so I no longer listen nor am I heard.

How can I remember when I can’t forget
Cold, but somehow not cold enough yet
The frost melts as the sun rises
The sand scarred with shut eyelids.

Honesty is key to ending this
The truth unlocks a vast abyss
Neverending
Profound
Ignorance -
destroys bliss.

I live the days as they come, he says
What happens tomorrow - I can’t guarantee today
So why bother trying to be something I’m not
Striving towards an ends only to end up in a box.

If only lessons could be learnt through words
Life is an experience to be lived, not heard
Yet schooling seems to be the preferred option
Those high horses falling nearest the bottom.

I have a rough idea of the way out
Sketched in my head is an erroneous route.
The checkpoints are determined by ’success’
To which my answers are but a guess.

Right, left, east, west…
Which direction will put my heart at rest?
“Follow this road, then take the second exit.”
Guidance is clear - but on the path I slip.
Plummet into what they call oblivion
Looking to the sky, the sun at meridian.

I once had a vision, it was clear as day
Then the night came and swept it away.
This is why I ask, if indeed you know,
For I understand why, but not the way to go.

Always leaves me with a smile,
A while, since it has been there
So much better than my deadly glare.
Ironic really, the story tells
Forced, abused - pain itself.
Yet always laughing, joking with me
As if, beyond eyes, truth can see.
Fatigued with misery, dreams to be free
Can’t see the leaves, nor the roots of this tree.

Understanding is difficult, advice impossible
Every other step, is more like an obstacle.
Keep struggling I say, and remember to pray
God will guide you from going astray.
Can’t leave the house, ‘dads about’,
No doubt. Like to dress in those clothes,
Freedom of choice? Um, not really, no…

Proving innocence by saying yes
Repulsive how people second guess.
An upward strife, or downward spiral
You will win with that spirit of survival.
Dismissed the comments and kept on going
Fighting so hard your tears aren’t showing.

Sabr, the Islamic term translated commonly as ‘Patience’ is used numerous times in the Qur’an and Hadith. As with other words used in these texts, the meaning has far more depth than the simple closest translation.

This week I learnt about a saying of the second Khalif, Umar Ibn Al-Khattab (RA) on sabr. He described it as two*:

- The lesser sabr. This is where one is faced with difficulty, and they are patient. For example, the loss of something dear to you requires patience for you to get through that difficulty.
- The greater sabr. This is where you are being enticed by Shaitan, by your desires and you control yourself. For example the temptation to go out and do something you shouldn’t, but preventing yourself.

This really struck me. I have always thought about the first kind of patience, where you are landed in a situation and you are tested with how you deal with it. Do you throw a punch or do you walk away. Do you put up with the test or do you give up.

But the greater test, as Umar (RA) so rightly said, is the inner test of endurance. That battle between you and your desires. See this test is more difficult to say no to, its that rush of following your heart over your mind, of following your temptations over what you know is right. When your friends are telling you one thing but your conscience another. And I know I fail that test every day.

One of the definitions for being steadfast is ‘an unwavering faith’, that you don’t compromise in what you believe. If I know I should do something, do I do it. And perhaps even harder, if I know I shouldn’t do something, do I do it anyway.

I recently said to someone; “You have to be strong to be patient, You have to be patient to be strong.” Easier said than done, but rest assured, as God says in the Qur’an on numerous occasions; Indeed He is with those who are patient. What more can I ask for?

* I’ll try and find an accurate reference for this, at the moment I’ve just paraphrased off my notes from the circle.

Forget the warnings, I want the fantasy
Smile at day to cry at night - reality is tragedy
Tears wont stop flowing, I’m sick of asking why
Every single step has been a lie, after lie.
No. Not him. I lied to myself.
Blindfolded and stumbling, turning down the help.
When I fall its no surprise that I can’t get up
Open my eyes? It’s much easier just to bluff.

I made sure he knew, on the third pill or two
Hope he feels guilty, heart skips a beat or two.
Phone constantly ringing, my friends seem to care
Don’t pick up, they’re never really there.
I think it’s time to end it. Pull out a knife.
Before I had a chance. Now I don’t even have a life.

That should be the end. But really it’s not.
I couldn’t go through with it. Full stop.

?

I wanted to give a picture of what some young people go through during their teenage years. I quote City of Men “When you’re 15 you think everythings going to last forever. But it doesnt. There aren’t any good things that last forever, but there aren’t any bad things that never end.”